At age 5 our son River just completed his first week of kindergarten at the local small town, rural public school. It’s an emotional time for everyone in our family as we adjust.

Its also a proud time for my son. When I pick him up from school he takes great pride in sharing stories about his day. He is already learning that he can hold the power of story telling. He holds the knowledge of his own experience, something know one else can speak to.

Through his own lens through which he filters the world and as he reflects his personal experience to us, River’s stories have become vital to the health of our family. His stories are woven into the fabric of our family and they in turn help our family weave together our connection and understanding of the world around us.

I honor my son’s role in our family—his voice may be small, but his role in our family, in this world, is no less important than ours.

As children of all ages do, River learns about the world through his questions. His questions dance around his curiosity like flickering firelight and jump excitedly with delight. His questions and the answers he receives open his eyes wide with wonder.

As our only child, River’s ability to remember seemingly random or obscure facts after one spoken mention amazes me. Knowledge of facts are like fun party tricks, but when they are woven into story they come alive.

Recently, in the weeks leading up to kindergarten, River has been asking some incredibly deep questions.

Where do we go when we die?

Dad, where do we go when we die? In his innate wisdom River asked this question not once but multiple times throughout a week and a half.

As with his other important questions, he asks the adults in his life as he shapes his world view, one adult at a time. And then he re-asks the question several times over several days until he is satisfied for now.

Where do we go when we die? What a profound question! I am certain it won’t be the last time he asks about death, because it is a question that all cultures grapple with for as long as we can remember.

This is a question that all spiritual faiths attempt to answer, with great importance, through stories. Every story has a different flavor, but they all deal with the great importance of the question. A question that comes directly from our soul.

River must have sensed some importance in his question after it was asked because he got important answers back from us!

It was my turn now. I felt into myself how to answer this question to our 5 year old. How do I not get too heady with my answer and put it into terms he can deal with? And yet how can I give him an answer that is satisfying on a deep level of knowing? Satisfying to our bodies?

Let me tell you, I am so grateful to be a gardener and a homesteader. Since River was born he has been around life and death. Plant and animal. Purposeful and accidental. Wild and domesticated.

I am so grateful that he has already witnessed many tangible experiences around life and death, including the flesh and bodies of plants and animals he has consumed, so that I can even begin to answer this question that many of us continue to ask for all our lives:

You go back to our Mother Earth, the great mother. Our Mother where all life comes from.

Do you remember how you grew in your mama’s belly until you decided it was time to come into the world? It is the same with Mama Earth. She is the reason we are all alive.

She gives us everything we need to be alive and then when we die she takes us back into her earth belly.

But you know what? Even Mama Earth is born and dies. Do you know where she came from? The stars!

Our Earth home is made up of pieces of dead stars. The same minerals our bodies are of. Yes, you’re right, our Sun is also made from other stars.

Every time a star is born and dies, it floats around in space and eventually it can become part of another star… or many stars! Our Sun is made from many, many past living stars, and so is our Mother Earth.

One day our great Mama will die and she will also become another star or planet or solar system, and perhaps even a new home for life.

And you know what!? Its the same with us! We are also made of stars just like our Mama Earth. We are the same as those stars up in the sky.

All the rocks and trees and plants and mountains are also made from the stars. And so we are all the same because we came from the same Mama and we will return to her when we die.

Its just like the plants in our gardens. When a plant dies we put its body into the compost. Yep, you’re right! Then they become food for other plants and trees.

Yeah, you’re right! Our body can be food for trees too, after we die. But you know what? We can be food for plants and trees even when we are alive!

You know how we offer golden water to the plants made from our pee? We are giving our extra minerals to those plants.

So we eat a plant for nourishment. And the plants give us sooo much nourishment that we have extra to share back. We don’t need to keep all that good stuff to ourselves. Our poop can also be fertilizer for plants, just like every other animal’s poop.

We all give a part of ourselves back to the soil and plants every time we pee and poo. Isn’t that magical that our pee and poo is the perfect food for plants!?

And just like we are the perfect food for the plants, the plants are the perfect food for us!

And the animals that we eat… they eat plants too!

So we are all giving ourselves to each other so that we can all be alive.

When we die it is the same. Our dead body will become food for many, many, many other lives, big and small. From the tiny bacteria we can’t even see to plants and trees.

We all share ourselves with each other, the way Mama Earth taught us.

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What is Gravity?

Then comes gravity.

During our summer break from preschool River and I adopted a ritual of watching a few short educational videos each day during lunch on various topics that interested him.

5 year old River often wants to learn about animals but he also branches out into other topics like planets and space, engines, maps, magnets, how things are made and much more.

The first time he asked me about gravity I gave him a basic, generic answer. Something like: “Its the force that keeps things on the ground. Actually, hey let’s watch a video on it. They’ll probably explain it in ways I can’t considered.”

So we watched a short little clip that gave some facts, history and observations about how we humans experience gravity.

And then the question stuck and he asked about gravity pretty intently for a week and a half or so becoming more or less satisfied.

One day he asked me again as I pushed him in his swing: What is gravity?

OK, second time. This is a serious question.

Oh… gravity! That’s a good one!

You know how I push you in the swing and you always come back down? That’s gravity!

Without gravity you would float off into those trees when I push you up. Or you would float off into the sky.

Without gravity we would all be floating everywhere. Yeah, you’re right! Just like astronauts!

Mama Earth wants to keep us close to her because she loves us so much! Gravity is her way of taking care of us and making sure we are safe and loved.

Mama’s gravity keeps our feet on the ground so that she can kiss our feet as we walk, just like mama loves to kiss your little feet. And when we are tired, Mama Earth pulls us down close to lay on the ground, so that we can rest cozily as she nuzzles us.

Mama Earth keeps all her children close to her… the trees, rocks, water, everything is held close. Even the birds who can fly high in the sky are are eventually pulled back by mama so that they can be with the rest of us.

Can you imagine what it would be like if all the animals, plants, mountains and rivers floated away? We’d be far apart from each other.

Mama wants us close together so we can live a beautiful life with each other and with her. She really loves us so much!

I am so grateful for gravity!

Keep the Questions Flowing Little One

As a father I keep asking myself how I can support my son’s curiosity. How can I find ways to help enrich his life through my answers?

Each time I ask that question my answer returns to my own personal growth and development. Ultimately I want for myself what I want for him.

In this culture that values logic, in a culture that promotes and values fear and scarcity at every subconscious level, it can be difficult to expand into stories of gratitude and abundance.

So, thank you little one for bringing my love forward into this world. Thank you for helping me to make my dreams of gratitude real.

You bring more meaning, wealth and value to my life than I can express. But let me at least try.

You are worth every uncomfortable experience as I re-paint my lenses, as I re-story my vision.

You are worth the patience and respect required to open myself to the possibility of shifting into the unknown.

You were born an unknown. As difficult as it was, your mother and I stepped beyond our fears of all the discomforts we would face to raise you. We leapt off the cliff of certainty into the vast, deep, dark oceans of life and unknown possibilities.

Thank you for joining us on this spiral dance through life. Your journey is woven into our own as we cross and meet and cross and meet again over and over.

Thank you for being patient with me as I stumble with each new experience, like you stumbled when you were learning to walk. Just as I picked you up when you asked for help, you pick me up when I ask for your help.

I learn to change my personal stories and beliefs of my role as ruler into guide, enforcer into mentor, knower into un-knower, teacher into student.

What is father and son but two souls bonded at our hearts? We are bonded through pain and joy, loss and laughter. We are wounded and healing together. We are two souls looking out through pairs of eyes, holding each other through life. We both have so much to offer each other.

Please know that when I am too—rushing to get nowhere fast (you have so many ways of inviting me to slow down), annoyed at you (or more likely myself), big headed (my life experiences have been so important—I’m older after all), know it all and let me tell you about it son (my life is validation for me, so shouldn’t it be for you?), self appointed teacher (it just sounds good), logic rules all (logic can be used forcefully), needing to make a lesson from everything (boosting my ego), forcing an outcome (because I’m big and your small, and isn’t that more convenient?) or otherwise just plain old hot and bothered—When I am too much this or that, I may forget the biggest lessons that you have been teaching me all along.

Through insecurity, I may ask questions relentlessly to dig or pry stories out of you. To know how your day went, even if you’re still processing it all. To know what your feelings are, even if you have no language for it. To know. In my haste I may ask another question before you even have a chance to really sit with the first.

By being self centered, I may not even notice your subtle, beautiful, wise signs. The sophisticated, nuanced ways you have of communicating your emotional states. I almost missed them. The signs you show me when I am not flowing with your vibe. You don’t even hold it against me for a second.

Thank you for showing me when I need to slow down and take a deep breath, or more like ten. Those moments when I remember I can call on Mama Earth to ground myself so that I can really be there for you.

Keep your questions flowing little one! I love swimming with you in your river of curiosity as you delight in this beautiful world.

Keep your stories flowing little one! I love swimming in my imagination as I join your enthusiasm for discovering life.

Your pride for stepping into your role of storyteller is delicious. Your role of meaning maker is so important as you reflect your understanding of the world back to us. The value of the experiences and wisdom you bring back to share with us is priceless and enriches our lives.

Your voice and your stature may be small but your eyes are open and big. You have the eyes that can help us see anew. You have the ears that can help us hear afresh. You have the stories that can help us wonder again.

Tell us little one. Tell us about life. I will try to listen.